


The Love Prophet

by ginnyred



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 03:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginnyred/pseuds/ginnyred
Summary: The thing about the Love Wizard is that he claims an expertise he doesn't really have.Sure, Elia will admit, Gio had a really pretty girlfriend at one point. But their relationship was a mess and in the endshebroke up withhim– she broke up with the Love Wizard, can you imagine? Also, no one really notices when Gio walks down the corridors at school. No one stares, no one gapes, no one pines. What sort of a Love Wizard is that?Elia has no time for this: he needs an expert. Someone who really knows their stuff. Someone with charm, and wits, and tricks, who can teach him how to be like them.Elia needs Niccolò Fares, is the thing.





	The Love Prophet

The thing about the Love Wizard is that he claims an expertise he doesn't really have.

Sure, Elia will admit, Gio had a really pretty girlfriend at one point. But their relationship was a mess and in the end _she_ broke up with _him_ – she broke up with the Love Wizard, can you imagine? Also, no one really notices when Gio walks down the corridors at school. No one stares, no one gapes, no one pines. What sort of a Love Wizard is that?

Elia has no time for this: he needs an expert. Someone who really knows their stuff. Someone with charm, and wits, and tricks, who can teach him how to be like them.

Elia needs Niccolò Fares, is the thing.

Of course, he needs to detach him from Marti first, and that is no easy task.

Still, Elia is not one for beating around the bush. So when he gets to school earlier than usual and finds Marti alone at the gates, that's the perfect opportunity to ask. Not that he needs Marti's permission, but he thinks it's fair to give him a general warning so he can, like, prepare.

_A few hours apart from each other. Will they make it?_

Elia rolls his eyes. He really wants to make a joke, but thinks better of it, because he needs Marti to be on board with this. So he just asks.

“Hey, man, is it okay if I borrow Nico for, like, one afternoon this week?”

Marti's looks up from his phone, surprised, and gives him his signature smirk with the half-closed eyes and the mouth pulled to the side.

“Sure. Be safe. Let me know how it goes.”

Elia puches him on the shoulder jokingly.

“Not like that, you asshole.” They grin at one another, because Elia can appreciate a good joke when he hears one, and boy, does Marti deliver. “It's just that I realised that I need... well, advice, I guess?”

“Advice about?”

“Girls.” Elia sighs dramatically. “Desperate times and all that.”

“Oh, okay.” Marti looks dubious. “Sure.”

Elia takes in Marti's hesitation and furrows his brow.

“Nico _does_ like girls, doesn't he?” he asks. “I'm pretty sure he said he did.”

“Yes, yes. He does. It's not that, Eli. It's just that-”

But Elia is not listening.

“Also, this isn't even about him liking girls. It's about girls liking _him_ ,” Elia ponders briefly over the issue. “And girls do like him! Remember that time at the pub in Trastevere? That was embarrassing.”

It hadn't started out embarrassing, though.

Four chicks, varying degrees of pretty, but _all_ pretty, approaching _their_ table. And they were five.

Well, three, if you didn't count Marti and Nico, who were... well, “taken” is not enough to describe it, probably, so like. Very Much Unavailable. Plus, Marti wouldn't have been interested anyway.

So you could even choose. Perfect, right?

Yeah, except they all flocked to Nico. Obviously.

And okay, Elia doesn't like to be second best but, when Nico is there, well, it's not like he likes it. But he understands.

So, when Nico made it clear to the girls that he and Marti were “together, actually, so, you know, sorry but no”, he was expecting the girls to turn to them. Specifically, to him. He was ready, it was fine, his pride could take it.

What he was not ready for was for three of the girls to say sorry and something like “you look very cute together” before walking away, and for one of them to stand her ground, shrug, and say: “So?”

Which.

Elia is all for bold and shameless, that's, like, his life motto. But there is such a thing as too much and that was it. Luchino's face was priceless, though, and both Marti and Gio were ready for murder. Nico just looked deeply uncomfortable.

“So, maybe you should leave too,” Marti said, and it sounded perfectly calm and completely dangerous. “It seems like a good idea, yeah?”

The girl rolled her eyes but she did leave, and Elia was genuinely impressed by Marti there, so it took a few seconds for it to sink in: with Nico there, he wasn't even second choice.

He wasn't a choice at all.

It really _was_ embarrassing, Elia's ego has yet to recover from that night.

“God, Trastevere. How could I forget,” Marti says dramatically, and Elia scoffs at the martyr act.

“'Boohoo, my boyfriend is so hot everyone wants him, but he only wants to be with me.'” Elia's sympathy was here somewhere, he's sure of it, he must have dropped it on his way to school. “So tragic.”

Marti smacks him on the neck in mock-annoyance, but Elia can see he's pleased and a little bit proud.

“So, can I have Nico or not?” Elia insists a bit petulantly. “One afternoon, just one. You guys will survive, it's only a few hours. And you can tell I need him, right?”

“I'm just not sure _Nico_ is the right person to go to for this kind of thing, that's all. I mean, girls do like him, it's true, but the thing is. He's really not the guy for you if you only want- Oh, come on, don't look at me like that,” Marti rolls his eyes at his sad puppy face. Elia has been perfecting it since he was fourteen, it's basically a work of art at this point. “Fine, if Nico wants, he's all yours. But I'm sure he'll say yes 'cause you'll do that stupid face with him as well.”

“Ha! Thanks, man,” Elia grins and offers Marti his hand so they can do their elaborate handshake. “I promise I'll return him as new.”

“You'd better.”

“Hey, assholes!”

Elia turns and spots Gio and Luca crossing the street. He waves at them and, well, he might have imagined it, right? But for a second there he could have sworn he heard Marti mutter under his breath something that sounded suspiciously like: “Your funeral.”

*

“The Love Wizard?” Nico's eyebrows disappear under his curly fringe. “I see.”

“Yeah, but he's not. It's just 'cause he gave Marti half a good tip once and now he thinks he's an expert.” Elia rolls his eyes. “Well, you'd know. That time in Bracciano when Marti texted you? That was the Love Wizard in action.”

“That ominous thing? That was _Gio?!_ Who even does that? I almost had an heart attack when I read that text.”

“I know, that's why I asked you! And you _are_ going to help me, yeah?” Elia attempts a charming grin, but from Nico's face he's pretty sure he just looks desperate. “Please?”

“I mean, I want to. I came here,” Nico gestures towards their table at the Baretto and the espresso cups in front of them. “Only... I'm not sure what you want from me. Like, who even is this girl you're trying to impress? Do I know her? If you tell me what she's like maybe I can help you a bit more.”

Elia sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

_This is proving harder than expected._

“Nono, there is no girl. That's the point of this.”

“But I thought- The Love Wizard?” Nico looks at him, confused. “Didn't you say you needed love advice? And now you tell me there is no girl.”

“Nico, man. I know you're all about True Love and that's great. But some of us just want to get laid.”

Nico smiles suggestively at that and, well, Elia is straight, yeah? But it's not hard to imagine why all the girls are pining after him. And the boys.

Everyone really.

How _the fuck_ did Marti get him?

“I don't know why you think the two are mutually exclusive, but okay.” Nico raises his hands in surrender. “No girlfriend then.”

“Well, the thing is, it's not necessary? If I get one, then great, but, like, I'm desperate here. So you know, nevermind a girlfriend, _a girl_ will do.”

Elia can tell that Nico is trying not to laugh in his face. In his defense, he really _is_ trying.

“A girl,” Nico repeats, after a pause. He bites his lip and tries to keep a straight face. “Any girl?”

Elia considers it, while toying with his espresso cup.

“Well, I mean, within reason.”

“Oh, so you're desperate, but with standards,” Nico allows himself a small grin. “Maybe I see why things aren't working out for you.”

“Which is I came to you!” Elia explodes and he starts gesticulating wildly. “Why are things not working out? Why can't I get a girl? Why does no one want me? What am I doing wrong?” Elia takes in Nico's slightly alarmed face and sighs. “God, I sound like Luca right now.”

“I was about to say, you kind of do,” Nico says, but he sounds gentler now. “I think you're overthinking this. You are a great guy, I'm sure girls _do_ like you.”

“Except they really don't,” Elia replies in a gloomy tone. “Believe me, I'd know.”

“But just because the girls you know don't like you _like that_ , it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, or that you need to change for them. Why would you want to do that?” Nico starts counting on his fingers. “Like, you're funny and a good friend and a good-looking guy and-”

Elia doesn't want to say it, he doesn't. It just sort of comes out on its own.

“Yeah, so good-looking you put Gio before me in that ranking of yours.” It sounds a lot more bitter than it should, considering the whole thing had been a joke, but it's too late now to take it back. “I mean, Garau, _really?!_ Have you seen his teeth?”

“God, not that ranking again!” Nico rolls his eyes. “I don't even know why Marti told you guys about that. So I like Gio better? Who cares! I, personally, happen to like people with blue eyes. There are lots of people who don't.”

“Marti doesn't have blue eyes,” Elia points out testily, and he sounds like a five-year-old now, he knows.

Nico smiles way too kindly at that. In his place, Elia would have already told himself to fuck off.

“That's different. Marti doesn't need blue eyes,” Nico says simply.

And God, does Elia wish he had someone who would say those kind of things about _him_.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to say-” Elia shakes his head to clear it, and he's pretty sure he's blushing now. Fuck, what the hell was he thinking? “I don't know what came over me.”

“Just loneliness, I think. And maybe you're a bit tired of that I'm-so-confident thing you've got going on,” Nico shrugs like he has this kind of conversations every other day. “That's alright, I understand.”

Elia stares. He can't help it.

 _Who are you?_ he wants to ask. _Who are you and how do you know that and what have you done with the funny guy with the contagious laughter and the megawatt smile who was sitting here three seconds ago?_

But Nico mentioned his I'm-so-confident thing, like he called it – Elia calls it his Other People Face – so maybe he knows a thing or two about that.

Being different around others.

“I... I don't know what to say,” Elia's voice sounds a bit croaky and unsure all of a sudden. “I kind of want to say sorry for turning this into Depressinglandia, but I'm not convinced I did that on my own?”

“Oh, no, if Depressinglandia is involved, you can be pretty sure I had a hand in it.” Nico smiles, a bit self-deprecatingly, and drinks his espresso in one go, even though it's probably gone cold by now. “Sorry. This is probably not what you wanted from me, is it?”

“It's not what I expected,” Elia smiles back genuinely. “But, I mean, it was... strangely okay. Very weird and sort of intense and, like... deep.”

“Weird, intense, and deep?” Nico repeats, vaguely amused. “You make it sound like I'm the Sibyl or something and you wandered into my cave looking for answers,” Nico considers it for a second. “Answers which I wrote on leaves after... getting high? I mean, that kind of sounds like me, when you think about it.”

Elia plays along.

“Maybe that's it. Forget the Love Wizard. You could be, like, the Love Prophet!”

“The Love Prophet,” Nico laughs, and it's his infectious full-body laughter once again. “I love it.”

*

“So, how did it go?”

Elia smiles and stifles a yawn as Marti approaches him at the school gates the next day. He's kind of dazed and didn't sleep very well, but he's been doing a lot of thinking. He's not sure it's leading to much yet, but maybe it's too early to tell.

Who knows.

“What did Nico say?” Elia asks, curiousity getting the better of him.

“Nothing, I didn't ask.”

“Like Hell you didn't. I know you. You're a nosy bastard.”

Marti rolls his eyes.

“Asshole,” he says, but he makes it sound almost affectionate. “Okay, _maybe_ I did, but Nico said I should ask _you_ , so. Any good advice?”

“On how to pick up girls? Not really.”

“That's what I was trying to tell you the other day,” Marti smiles fondly. “Nico doesn't do... easy and chill. He can't. It's, like, all or nothing with him.”

Elia lowers his gaze because Marti looks so in love it's almost painful to look at.

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“Did it turn into a therapy session?”

“More like a mystical experience.” Elia grins and steals a glance at Marti. He's grinning too. “Also, I should warn you: Nico is calling himself the Love Prophet now. _I know_ , I know. The worst part is that it might be my fault.”

Marti sighs in exasperation.

“ _God._ Don't tell Gio or we'll never hear the end of it.”

“What? You guys are keeping secrets now?” They turn and of course Gio is standing there now, looking betrayed. Of course he is. “Don't tell me what?”

Marti and Elia exchange a look. Marti shakes his head frantically, and Elia just smirks.

“That the Love Wizard is done, sorry,” Elia says in an innocent tone that fools no one. He giggles at Marti's dramatic facepalming. “Nico says he's the Love Prophet now.”

“Excuse me?!”

Elia laughs and gestures to Luchino, who's just arrived and is giggling at the ruckus from afar, to join them.

This will be fun.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried? LOL.
> 
> Thanks for having faith in me and reading the whole thing. x


End file.
